


Mishaps

by LazyAdmiral



Series: Disaster Mage Trio one-shots [7]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Awkward Sexual Situations (mentioned), Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 02:21:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30048465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LazyAdmiral/pseuds/LazyAdmiral
Summary: “Hmm, yes. I suppose given my age I should consider myself lucky,” Alexius admitted with a wry smile, accepting a refilled glass when Orsino offered. It didn’t help the lingering sense of shame that burned under his skin, but he could put a brave face on it, for his lovers’ sake. No sense in his misfortune completely ruining the evening.-After an intimate evening is cut short, wine is drunk and embarrassing stories shared.
Relationships: Gereon Alexius/Original Character(s), Gereon Alexius/Orsino, Gereon Alexius/Orsino/Original Character(s), Orsino (Dragon Age)/Original Character(s)
Series: Disaster Mage Trio one-shots [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2208723
Kudos: 1





	Mishaps

“Well, this is embarrassing,” Alexius muttered, mostly to himself.

Propped up against the headboard, he pulled the covers slightly further over his lap in an attempt to preserve some semblance of dignity. Further down the bed, Ana had already flung on a light robe; a delicate, silken thing in dark blue that made her pale eyes and red hair all the more striking in the soft light. She only smiled at his remark as she continued with her task, the lingering flush on her cheeks and the beginnings of a purpling bruise on her throat – Orsino’s work – the only remnants of their earlier, more _pleasant_ activities.

It was a pity they’d had to stop. He’d been rather enjoying himself.

“It happens to the best of us,” Orsino reminded him, returning to the bed in his own heavy green robe – a Satinalia gift from Ana, after his complaints of the cold – and the bottle of passable Orlesian red that started them off in the first place. He swiped their abandoned glasses from the nightstand as he joined him, curling up amongst the pillows. “At least it was only a leg cramp.”

“Hmm, yes. I suppose given my age I should consider myself lucky,” Alexius admitted with a wry smile, accepting a refilled glass when Orsino offered. It didn’t help the lingering sense of shame that burned under his skin, but he could put a brave face on it, for his lovers’ sake. No sense in his misfortune completely ruining the evening.

_And on that note…_

He frowned, shifting a little as Ana’s hands moved over the painfully tight muscle, soft blue light shimmering under her touch. It was easing the pain, certainly, but he felt awkward being coddled over, especially under the circumstances.

“Amata, I’m sure it’s fine, there’s no need–”

His protests were silenced as Ana leaned up, pressing a quick but firm kiss to his lips. She drew back with a smile that was far too knowing for his liking.

“Hush. And stop fidgeting, I’ll be done in a minute.”

He exchanged a glance with Orsino as Ana went back to work, using her magic to ease the muscle out of its spasm. The other man’s mouth twitched ever so slightly but, perhaps wisely, he said nothing and merely took another sip of his own wine.

Idly, Alexius’ gaze was drawn to his hair and he found himself having to suppress a smirk of his own. The usually neatly slicked-back mane of hair was ruffled and rumpled beyond repair at this point; paired with the open neck of the robe parting to reveal delicately sharp collarbones and pale skin still sporting a blush of warmth, he made quite the tempting sight.

“I must confess, I rather enjoy the debauched look on you, love.”

Orsino rolled his eyes, even if his pale colouring couldn’t hide the deepening pink flush that crept over his cheeks and a self-conscious hand reached up to smooth out the worst of it.

“No accounting for taste, I suppose,” he replied dryly, lips curled in a faint smile. In other circumstances, Alexius thought he might have taken the opening – drawn him in to taste the self-deprecating smile from his lips, perhaps left a mark or two of his own at the juncture of his throat that would mean he’d have to wear high necks for the rest of the week.

Another time, perhaps.

They sat in quiet for a few moments more, the only sound the crackle of the brazier in the corner mingling with the soft hum of magic in the air. Orsino was warm at his side and between that and the wine, it was almost enough to take the sting out of the unfortunate mishap.

“How does it feel now?” Ana asked finally, the glow from her hands dimming. Alexius gingerly flexed the leg.

“Better, thank you. Although I’m not sure how much I want to test it again tonight,” he replied ruefully, giving both of them an apologetic look. “I’m afraid this wasn’t quite how I’d planned on the evening going.”

“I’d be both impressed and concerned if you had,” Orsino replied, handing Ana her own wine as she resettled herself on the bed, facing the headboard and knees drawn to one side. “Besides, this is hardly the worst outcome of a romantic tryst I’ve had,” he added, and there was something in his tone that caught Alexius’ interest.

It also caught Ana’s, if the way she suddenly sat up, eyes narrowed on the other man were any indication.

Orsino simply gazed back, taking a nonchalant sip from his glass.

“Why do I get the feeling there’s a story here?” Alexius said.

Orsino outright _smirked_ , while Ana’s cheeks darkened and she rolled her eyes.

“ _Fine_ ,” she sighed in defeat even as the corners of her mouth ticked upwards. She gestured between them with the hand holding her wine glass. “Shall you tell this one or shall I?”

Orsino appeared to think it over, before shaking his head. “As entertaining as telling the story might be, I think I’d like to hear your take on the events, actually.”

Ana pursed her lips, even if the glare she shot him was too soft to carry any real bite.

“If you insist.”

Alexius raised an eyebrow, glancing back at Orsino expectantly even as he settled himself further against the pillows in anticipation of the tale. Ana took another rather large sip from her glass, her face still flushed even as she shook her head and looked up at him.

“You already know I wasn’t exactly… _experienced_ before Orsino and I became lovers,” she began, shrugging. “I had ideas of things I wanted to try, of course, but I’d never had anyone I wanted to explore them with. So when I finally did have the opportunity, and the inclination, to experiment – well, I might have been a little overenthusiastic.”

Orsino gave the faintest snort into his glass, earning a sharply raised eyebrow.

“Something to add?”

“Oh no, please – continue.”

Orsino’s smile was perfectly innocent, which Alexius had learned by now meant his intention was anything but. After another futile glare, Ana did as she was asked.

“One of the things I wanted to try was – well, restraints,” she admitted, and Alexius nodded, smiling a little himself. Yes, he was quite familiar with _that_ particular interest. “Orsino was kind enough to indulge me in that curiosity and eventually I thought to try and make things more…”

“Exciting?” Alexius offered, already getting an inkling of where this might be going.

Ana nodded with a wry little laugh. “Something like that. I suggested trying to use magic instead of more mundane methods, and after some discussion, we settled on vines, given I can conjure them easily enough.”

He bit the inside of his cheek. The inevitable conclusion was becoming clearer and he was torn between sympathy and amusement, along with something achingly close to fondness. He’d had his own share of accidents when he was young and brash and inexperienced and it was refreshing to see his usually sensible and unabashed lover blushing and giggling like an apprentice sneaking around after curfew.

“I’m going to guess it didn’t go as planned.”

“No, it did _not_ ,” Ana said, shaking her head. “I admit I got a little… carried away. One thing led to another and…” She paused, eyes looking up to the ceiling and lips tight as if trying to steel herself. She let out a breath and finally said, in a small quiet voice, “Orsino ended up dangling from the ceiling.”

Even if he had wanted to, Alexius doubted he could have completely smothered the sudden bark of laughter that pulled from him. In a moment of clarity, he set his wine glass on the bedside table to avoid earning the wrath of Skyhold’s cleaning staff, his shoulders still shaking with mirth.

“I was up there for, what, forty-five minutes?” Orsino mused, smirking faintly as he gently swirled his own glass.

Ana shook her head, still grimacing. “Probably closer to an hour.”

“Why so long?” Alexius asked, surprised.

Orsino gave him a flat look. “Because that’s how long it took her to find a ladder.”

“I wasn’t going to just dispel the vines in case you fell and broke your neck!” Ana insisted. “And in case you missed it, I’m not exactly the tallest person in the world, and we were still trying to be discreet, so I didn’t want to go asking for assistance.”

“For which I’m _profoundly_ grateful,” Orsino admitted. “Although I doubt the arl’s staff at Redcliffe were half as oblivious as they pretended to be.”

“Yes, well… that’s another matter,” Ana grumbled, but a smile tugged at her lips and her eyes glinted with merriment as she turned back to Alexius. “So that’s my most horrendous bedroom experience. Honestly, this is quite relaxing by comparison.”

“Far less panicked screeching,” Orsino agreed, only to make a rather screeching sound himself when Ana took revenge by reaching over and tickling the sensitive spot behind his knees.

“I’m afraid I think I still have you beaten,” Alexius said with a grin as Orsino resettled with an indignant huff and a barely-repressed smile of his own. “At least you didn’t burn a lover’s hair off.”

That got their attention. Ana’s eyes grew comically large and Orsino chuckled softly.

“I’ve managed singed bedding, but no, not hair,” he said, setting his own glass aside. “Care to elaborate?"

“Of course, provided there’s more of that wine going.”

After glasses were topped up and they’d reshuffled a little – Orsino to tuck his legs protectively under the covers and away from Ana, and Alexius gingerly moving onto his side to better reach either of them – he continued.

“It was well before I married, back when I was still studying. I’d developed something of an infatuation with one of the older boys in my year – I honestly couldn’t tell you anything about what he looked like now, beyond he had a rather stunning head of long red hair.”

“Oh, really?” Ana’s eyebrow raised sceptically.

He chuckled softly, leaning up to press a placating kiss to her bare shoulder where the robe had slipped, before gently pulling the fabric back into place.

“No need for that. It was a coincidence, I assure you,” he said as he settled back down against the pillows. “He was rather vain about it, to be honest, but it suited him well, from what I remember. Regardless, it turned out he was interested in me as well and being teenagers, we decided the most appropriate thing to do was try and be as inappropriate as possible, as often as possible.”

“Ah, so how many times were you caught?” Orsino prompted.

He laughed, even as his cheeks warmed under the knowing stare. “Surprisingly, not that often. My father was something of a traditionalist and I still had enough self-preservation in those days to try and stay out of too much trouble. But there were a few close calls, which of course only fuelled us into taking more risks. The library was a favourite haunt,” he added, only for Ana to groan.

“Yes, I remember. The number of times I stumbled over horny teenagers when I was looking for a book…”

Orsino gave a quiet huff. “Try being the one tasked with going finding them before the Templars do.” He shook his head a little. “Still, a complaint for another time. I’m still curious about how this one goes. I’m assuming this particular disaster was during one of these more _clandestine_ meetings?”

“Something like that,” Alexius admitted. “We’d managed to find a reasonably quiet corner in the library one evening and it was perhaps a little busier than I would have liked so I was more focused on being quiet which is probably how things got out of hand.”

“Your friend wasn’t having the same problem?” Ana queried with a mischievous smile.

Alexius paused, thinking of the most tactful response. “He was… otherwise occupied.”

“Ah. I see.”

“Yes, well…” Alexius cleared his throat, ignoring the flush creeping up the back of his neck as he took another drink. Maker, why had he thought to tell this story again? “As I mentioned, he had rather long hair and it kept, ah, getting in the way so to speak, so I’d sort of caught most of it in one hand. Things… progressed, and I didn’t realise anything was wrong until he started swearing. Turned out I’d managed to burn through most of the hair I had in my hand, so when he pulled away, his hair, er – didn’t go with him.”

Ana stared for a moment, lips pressed flat before giving in, her laugh bright and loud in the small room. For his part, Orsino was quietly shaking, the hand over his face barely covering the pink in his cheeks, although whether that was purely amusement or partly down to the wine, Alexius wasn’t sure.

“Oh no, that’s terrible!” Ana managed at last between breaths. “Was he very angry?”

“Incensed,” he replied, only mildly remorseful. “I don’t think he ever spoke to me again, although to be honest the smell of burnt hair that lingered around that part of the library for weeks after was far worse than any heartbreak I suffered from it.”

Orsino sniffed a little, still not quite able to wipe the smile off of his face.

“Well, I for one am quite glad you seem to have gained a touch more self-restraint–”

“A _touch_?!”

“–because I’m fairly sure the only one here who can pull off short hair is you, vhenan,” he finished, ignoring the interruption.

Alexius snorted softly at that, giving in to temptation, at last, to lean in, catching that lingering smile with a kiss.

“Well, I won’t argue with you there,” he murmured when they parted.

As he settled back, Ana reached over to set her own glass aside before she moved to lie between them on the bed, and her expression turned soft as she looked up at him.

“Feeling better?” she asked.

He went to answer, only to stop, eyes darting between the pair as he realised.

“Yes, actually. Which I’m now suspecting was the point,” he replied. It was true as well – while his leg still ached a little, the bruise to his pride had diminished to the point he barely noticed it any more. Still, back in the Imperium, missing such a blatant distraction attempt could have been fatal, and he was surprised both at how little he’d noticed, and how little he minded as well.

“It worked, didn’t it?” Orsino pointed out, almost as if he could read his mind.

He hummed quietly, not quite willing to acknowledge that he was, in fact, right, and instead set to smoothing back an errant strand of hair from Ana’s face – another reason she so rarely wore it loose, it was long enough to get almost everywhere. In the dim light of the lamps, the emerging greys at her temples turned silver, and he supposed it was silly to be embarrassed about such things, given none of them were exactly youngsters any more.

With a small smile, Ana caught his hand before pulling it down to rest just below her ribcage, held between her own. She gave him an expectant look and he huffed quietly.

“Very well, I suppose you’re right. However,” he said, looking back to Orsino who raised a querying eyebrow at him, “I do believe both Ana and I have shared our more embarrassing mishaps. It’s your turn now, amatus.”

That got a laugh, low and rich and far sweeter than any wine.

“Very well, if you insist. But I think it’s Ana’s turn to fetch another bottle,” he added, “because I am _not_ telling this one sober.”

“Oh, this should be good,” Ana chuckled, already shimmying off the bed.

Alexius gave a quiet laugh and relaxed against the bedding. It might not have been the end to the evening he’d expected, but for once, he had no regrets.


End file.
